First, K and I bought a house.  A cute little 4 bedroom Cape Cod. It’s so adorable, and it’s all ours. K’s parents got him a big screen tv, a nice entertainment center, and a dining room table for his birthday.

I am now a member of a different fire station due to the move. I am a member of station 81-1. I feel more welcome down there than I ever did at Charleroi.

I am also taking EMT classes to get my certification again, so that I can start working with a service.

I am still working for LHF. I still love my job. It’s typical. There are good days and bad days.

I became an aunt to a beautiful nephew on August 17th, 2009. He was a very healthy 7# 12 oz. He did however develop pyloric stenosis and is currently at Children ‘s Hospital awaiting surgery. John loves him though.

I am still not engaged, and have no plans to get married anytime soon. K has shown no interest in wanting to marry me anytime soon. In fact at this point I don’t think it is ever going to happen. I actually think that my youngest sister is going to make it down the aisle before I do. She has only been with her boyfriend for like a month and a half.

Everyone else in my family is doing very well.

My best friend flew in from Florida earlier this month and stayed with us for a few days to visit. She fell in love with it up here and decided that she wanted to move up here to be closer to us and our families. The only problem is she wants to go to grad school, and she doesn’t know how likely this is going to be if she does move up here. We just have to wait and see…..

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Lately, I have been questioning quite a lot of things. I feel like a failure as a person. Mostly due to the fact that I am unable at this point to sustain gainful employment to support my son, and myself, and to help fulfill my obligations that I have with K now. Which are now pretty damn important since they now keep a roof over my head and provide my transportation wherever I need to go.  And quite frequently I have been questioning my quality as a partner and a lover.  There is no question that K loves me, but I always seem to be questioning why. I think this stems from my last relationship and now I think, do I really deserve this… Do I really deserve to be loved the way K loves me? Do I deserve to be treated the way he treats me?

Well, since the biggest change in our lives occured I can tell you that I have been trying to act more like a servent than a partner just because that is what I am used to. I never expected it to be this easy to live with someone. It does seem that we have gotten a lot closer in the past few weeks. Perhaps he will actually take it upon himself and propose to me for once soon. lol.

We do have a new addition to the family though. A  little gray and white kitten that K has named Lucy after a certain best friend’s dog. The name seems to fit her too. Tonight she had her first run in with catnip and it was hilarious. We laughed our asses off. She was rolling around it it at first, and then she went nuts. K had no idea that I went to get her, she was a surprise for him.

I have just felt very fat and insecure lately. I don’t know where these feelings have been coming from, because our relationship is better than it has ever been. Maybe I’m just messed up in the head. Maybe it’s just all the stress of everything piling up on top of me. Maybe it’s lack of sleep. Yeah. Perhaps that’s it… I did work midnight last night, and worked over, and only slept like 2 hours since yesterday….

D…I have been trying to call you. call me when you get the chance…

I am going to be working fulltime daylight M-F in an internal medicine office in Monroeville. While keeping my part time job with the Laurel Highlands Foundation, staying in the house that I’m already in. The girls there have gotten used to me, and I have gotten to know them well enough. They don’t deal well with change, so therefore, I am going to stay.

Second of all. We have found THE house. It’s a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house. There is a fireplace in the living room, hardwood floors, and all new furniture. The bedrooms upstairs are decent sizes, along with a game room in the basement. The best part is, there is only one room that we have to furnish, and that is John’s room. We have the furniture for it, it’s just all about moving it in now.

Our closing date for the house is May 22nd, after which we can officially start moving in. I’m so excited, and I know that K is excited as well.I’m also in the process of looking for a decent car that I can drive daily back and forth to Monroeville. We are going to have a housewarming sometime in June.

John and I are flying south for a week in July. He’s excited about flying in an airplane with mommy.

My nephew is due somewhere around August 10th, and September 5th I am having a birthday party for Kevin at our house. It sounds so great to say our house. I can’t wait. I’ll keep you updated on how the move goes.

On a different note, Kevin also took me for my IV iron infusion. Well the nurses there had a really hard time getting an IV into me. They had to poke me 5 times befre they finally got one in. Poor Kevin got so sick. He was nautious and sweaty, and for a few minutes there I thought he was going to pass out. That’s my guy. He wasn’t even the one getting poked, but I love him.

The infusions I would have an hour every other day for 10 doses then the hematologist said that we can see about going to once a month, depending on how I respond to the iron. So otherwise then anemia, I’m pretty darn healthy.

Kevin and I have been talking a lot lately too. We are going to start seriously looking to buy a place of our own. We’d like to be into a house buy summer. We keep going back and forth on whether 3 bedrooms will do, or if we should just go for 4 and be done with it.

We have also been doing a lot of talking about getting married. At this point we are considering a wedding for next summer some time. After which we will then start trying to expand our family. John definitely needs a little brother or sister to play with. So for now, that’s all I have, just a few minor updates into my life. I can’t wait for the next journey to come along.

I was offered the job! I had to have a physical, a TB test, and a drug screen done before they would schedule me for my first training. Well I had all that done, so I just have to call them tomorrow so that they can schedule me for training on February 7th. I am very excited to be getting this new opportunity.

The job is with the Laurel Highlands Foundation, which runs group homes for mentally handicapped people. I will be helping these people with their daily activities. It sounds really interesting. I have a friend that does the same kind of work for a different company and she absolutely loves it. I will be eligible for benefits after 90 days. That’s good for me too. I could use some benefits.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow for a cleaning and check-up. Then it’s off to the post office to get my passport taken care of so that I can go on my cruise with Kevin in October. Yay! I’m so excited. I’m also in the process of trying to buy a used car. With a little help from my dad.

Kevin and I have been talking. We are planning on buying a house together in the next 6 months. We are still debating at this point on how many bedrooms we are going to need. The first house that we looked at and fell in love with has 3 bedrooms, but we kinda think that we might try to get 4 bedrooms in this area if at all possible. I’d also love to stay in Charleroi, just because I’m already settled in the fire department here.

We have also discussed marriage. Kevin has expressed a desire to marry me, but wants to take his time about things. He wants to wait a little longer. He wants us to be together a little longer. I can live with that. Like he said if we love each other then it really doesn’t matter how soon we get married.

John is getting big too. And very smart. We’re still having potty training issues though. He just has no interest in peeing on the potty at this point. I figure that he’ll go whenever he is ready.

I’ve also been taking on a lot of the house responsibilities too. Cleaning, cooking, washing clothes and I love it. It’s fun. Yes, I really did just say that. lol

I spend Christmas Eve with Kevin and his family at his Uncle Jerry’s house. It was a lot of fun. They really accepted me as part of the family. This was the second Christmas that I spend with them. Kev’s cousin Chris told him that if we planned to have any children together that he needed to marry me. We are still just taking our time.

Kev spent the night with me that night and woke up with us on Christmas morning. We then went to my grandmother’s house. After breakfast there, we went to eat with Kevin’s parents for Christmas dinner(it was 3 pm so to me that was lunch). Kevin’s parents got me a really nice Steeler’s coat for Christmas.

After that we had dinner with my family at my grandmother’s house. Then once dishes were done we went back to Kevin’s house to spend time with all of his cousins. His cousin Chris got his daughter’s a Wii for Christmas. They were all taking turns playing a boxing game, so when it was Kevin’s turn he looked like he was having a seizure. LMAO

So the next day Kev decided that he was going to buy a Wii. We got one last night, and came up with a custody agreement so that we could share it. lol. At least until we get our own place. Now I can’t wait until Wednesday! It’s going to be so exciting. I’ll let you know how New Year’s Eve goes once it happens.

Just thought I’d stop by and tell you bout my Christmas. To those of you who read this, I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. Many Blessings, and don’t drink and drive.

Well, I certainly didn’t want to go home, and I certainly didn’t want to go to my grandmother’s house. Where else could I go? Well, Kevin, knight in shining armor that he is, drove us to the local Hampton Inn and got us a room for the night. It was a nice room, king size bed. Not that I really paid much attention to this. Well once we got into the room, the first thing Kevin did was pull me into his arms and just hold me. That was exactly what I needed at that point in time. We made love, we slept, we made love again, then it was time to check out. My dad wanted to talk to us about what transpired the night before. I was a nervous wreck again, so once again Kevin took me in his arms and held me tight.

We did go and talk to my parents, talked everything out, and everything was resolved. Things are cool again.

Then came Thanksgiving Day. Well Kevin’s parents usually eat early so we had planned on eating there, and then going to my grandmother’s house later to eat. Well, let me say that dinner at Kevin’s parents house was interesting. Due to a transformer problem at the local power station, Kevin’s house had no electricity. The only thing that his mother had cooked was the turkey and stuffing. So very casually we made a toast with a yummy sweet wine, then stood around the island in the kitchen in the candlelight and ate turkey and stuffing.

Kevin’s mom gave me my Christmas present already. It was 2 sets of 4 water goblets. They are very pretty. I can’t wait until we have a house so that we can use them. Afterwards we went to my grandmother’s house for dinner. After we had everyting cleaned up from dinner, we decided to play a game. No one else wanted to play, so Kevin, my cousin Michael, his girlfriend Kellyn and I played Monopoly. Of course I won. I ended up with the most money and the most properties. And the game ended the way it usually does with everyone saying they would never play with me again.

This coming Saturday I have an appointment for 6 o’clock to get John’s pictures taken. Who knows what we’ll do after that… but that’s it for me for now..

Oh, one more thing… Kevin and I decided that it was time for our parents to meet. We talked to both sets of parents and agreed to a dinner on a Saturday night. For now, we are all just looking at our schedules to see what would work the best for everyone, but since it is December this is a busy month for everyone with Christmas. We are currently thinking maybe the 27th. I’ll keep you updated and let you know how things go…